Ramdom 3

so yesterday i went to penang..with my baby and bunch of friends..

i dint plan to go untill my baby say she is coming with me^^

i had a blast yesterday..i feel very happy too..because she..

she keep on hold my hand..and not like last time..

she will stick with me..she wants to hold my hand..=)

so we went to queensbay first and prangin..

bought myself a short..and went to PDI bought me and my babe a polo T ^^

than later...something really bad..happened..

i hold her hand..walking..than i meet my relatives..

for the first sec..i thought about walking over to say hi

but im holding her hand...so i dint think about anything..i shake her hand off..

walk stright and ignore her untill i walk pass my relative...

than later..i hold her hand back and say its my relative walk by..

her face..totally changed from the face i love to see whole day in the morning and afternoon..into the face im terrified to see..

my heart went blank..i know..i know how she feels..when the min i shake her hand off..

i know how hurt that feels..

but than she keep on the face untill we found my friends eating at the restaurant..

than we talk about it..she finally changed her face back to normal a...3/4..haha

than when we finished eating..

we walk around the shops..

i hold her hand..walking towards a junction..

i saw my cousin and her 3 kids with her husband..im thinking...

i cant let her feel that way again..so i hold her hand and they just walk passed..

i told her..who are they..blah blah blah..

her face changed back to the "bad" face...

this time even worse....

i cant explain how frustrated and heart broken on that moment..

i feel like i just wanna walk into a wall and kill myself..

she told me" i just want you to be proud, hold my hand and walk towards tham and say...this is my girlfriend."

when she told that to me i knew it...

my eyes already got tears in it..just dint flow down..

but after that..she finally changed back to normal^^ the face im missing for the pass few hours or so..

so we went back that day very exhausted..

Today..

woke up and recieved her msg=)

so i replied her..and i went to play badminton with my sis and cousins..

and she..is taking an english exam at penang..

so after the test..she got into level 3^^ im so happy for her..really..

so she went to gurney with her mother..

my phone batt just left only 1 bar and no charger.......!@@^%$%^!^

so she send me a msg..say.." my mom said we cant hold hands"

my heart went broken again..and some few more msg..

we are only 16..only holding hands..

we cant hug or do anything...very eye saw..

blah blah blah..

im very disappointed..

so she send me a last msg saying.." so we just hand hand alright?"

im about to send her back a few words but my phone suddenly.." battrey empty..recharge"

so i just quickly reply her an " en" to her..i know its bad to reply this...

but fucking phone..so i got no way...

im soo worried about her..i took a nap and woke up..wanting to find her badly..

i called her using my house phone..dint pick up..

i borrow my sis phone..want to write a msg to her..and my sis keep asking me to quickly..

sony phones=.=

and i just send"dont worry about me, im fine"

but than she called on my house phone..

saying.."what?" blah blah blah

feels so bad...

but than i say what happend..and everything..im fine..

so she say..later u look at your phone than you know...

shit..im so scared that moment..so so scared..i think this is the end..

i cant control myself right now! im so scared!!

but i remembered what she said.." i wont leave you"

i wonder it is true..

if its not that she wanted to say...some other bad stuffs..i cant stand the pain too..im SCARED!

untill now..i cant on my phone...just listening to my own heartbeat...how fast it is right now...

i really really love you baby...im sorry for the things i've done....